Making coffee with unfamiliar implements

I am sitting in the spacious living room of Gweeks and Mikey, sipping French Roast from a pink cup. Or perhaps is is fuschia. The sky, at any rate, is a pale yellow as the sun breaks though scattered clouds.

The ride over yesterday was fine, if uneventful. We are having a great visit so far: seeing Gweeks's school, the usual catch-up chatting, play with the ever-growing cats, and a nice dinner out downtown. But the centerpiece of the evening was our screening of the classic Heroic Trio.

Remember how beautiful Hero was, using light and color and movement to transport the viewer? Do you recall how lyrical House of Flying Daggers was, even in its fight scenes, and how it infused a sense of magic into a very real world? You know how Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon blended fantasy and reality with such a delicate touch, elevating the genre?

Heroic Trio does none of those things. It does, however, kick ass.

A Chinese female Batman. A guy stealing babies in order to bring back the empire. A tough chick on a motorcyle throwing dynamite sticks at the bad guys. Claymore mines scattered around a train station. A guy with a basket on a chain that he uses to decapitate people. Secret headquarters in sewers. A noble scientist developing an invisibility cloak. Horses. Shotguns. Some weird combination pediatric hospital/maximum security prison.

Numerous incomprehensible flashbacks. Slapstick comedy relief. Supporting acting straight out of Speed Racer cartoons.

It is pretty much a high energy, illogical, incoherent mess and a great deal of fun. (We did see a dubbed version; that might have added to the messiness.)

It also has Anita Mui (from a lot of Jackie Chan flicks) as Wonderwoman AKA Shadowfox (the Batman character) and Maggie Cheung (Flying Snow from Hero) as Thief Catcher AKA Mercenary AKA Mercy (the one with motorcycle and shotguns and dynamite) and the incomparable Michelle Yeoh as Invisible Woman AKA Number Three.

A must-see.